Quick Guide: To Making The First Move (Ladies)

making the first move

Photo| Elitedaily.com

I’ve been asked this question many times, “Who makes the first move, a man or a woman?” I personally don’t think it’s as simple as a one-word answer. Typically most people think a man should make the first move; if a woman makes the first move it comes off as desperate or too eager.

Do you agree?

Different than your typical randomly meeting at a bar scenario I had to figure out the perfect way to start up a conversation with my soon to be man-friend that would make sense at our Alma Mater gathering.

Ladies, I don’t know if this has ever happened to you but I couldn’t stop laughing as I tried to take steps closer to him. My friend’s helped me work past my butterflies.  Which to me was very surreal and actually pretty funny to have the roles reversed. The advice my girlfriends were giving me were the exact words I have told them in the past when it came to men and flirting.

Sometimes all we need is a little reminder and kick in the butt in the right direction and for me, that was right up to my forever. We started talking and I came to find out that he was just as nervous to come up and start a conversation with me as I was with him,

“Thank goodness one of us took that leap of faith!”

I landed the man of my dreams going against what society thinks a woman should do.

Below I have put together three different scenarios that will hopefully help motivate you to make the first move to get the guy without seeming too eager.

Simply Saying Hello

FIRST MOVE

PHOTO| HER CAMPUS

Waiting for a man to come up to talk to you whether you are at a bar or the gym can be one of the longest drawn out waiting games of your life. Leaving the power in the guy’s hands allows him to have the control. Take back your power by making the first move and go say hello, strike up a conversation!

At a bar, notice what beer he is drinking or asked for, wearing a sports team, Google their stats, ask him to take a picture of you and your friends, or something super simple like asking for a napkin, etc.

Once you have an open line of communication, start asking him about himself but remember not to go all Sherlock Holmes on him and try to find out his mother’s name before you get his.

A Kiss Good Night

making the first move

PHOTO| ELITEDAILY.COM

Whether you believe the man should make the first move, which I think 99 % of the time we women would rather the man make the first move but he just seems a little shy.Ladies this is where you use your gut if you feel it in your core he isn’t into don’t push it! You’re better than that but if you think he just is trying to be a gentleman there are many ways to encourage him to make the first move!

Remember there is a difference between shy and not being interested at all!

Ladies this is where you use your gut if you feel it in your core he isn’t into it don’t push it but if you think he just is trying to be a gentleman there are some ways to encourage him to make the first move!

  1. Make eye contact for more than 5 seconds. (Keep repeating till he gets the hint.)
  2. Let your bodies touch, whether it is your hands or your legs. Contact, contact, contact!
  3. All else fails lick your lips, slowly touch a part of his body while bringing yourself closer to him.

Asking Him Out On A Date:

MAKING THE FIRST MOVE

PHOTO|FamilyShare.com

Most women feel like being asked out on a date should totally be up to the man and they are not completely wrong but if you really like a guy and want to ask him out, do it but do it with purpose and like you HAVE a LIFE that will go on if he says NO.

Example would be,

“ Hey I am thinking about going to XYZ, would you care to join?”

or

“ A couple of my friends and I are getting together for a concert, Sunday Funday, comedy show, etc would you want to come with me.”

If they say yes to either one say great maybe you could suggest grabbing a bite or a drink before hand just the two of you!

So lets recap, ladies regardless if he says yes or no to the date or your advances it is all about how you feel about yourself. Confident, sexy and in control!

Xo,

MDGF